inconsiderate land dwellers, especially drunken ones

A word to people who think it’s hilarious to untie boats and push them out into the middle of the canal/river. IT IS NOT FUNNY.

You might be drunk and find it amusing to be fumbling with giant rope knots. You might feel very daring to be shimmying along the gunnels of a boat, avoiding slipping into the cold canal. The best way to experience these things is really to go on a boating holiday or to ask if you can help a boat through a lock… Not to cruelly intrude in an unpleasant and unhelpful manner on someone elses evening!

Please consider how boring a joke becomes when you hear it repeatedly. The excitement of the first time you are awoken in the middle of the night because the boat is rocking and someone with very heavy feet has been prancing around on the deck soon fades when you are clambering about on the bank in pyjamas, whacking mooring pins with a lump hammer, and thinking about getting up for work in a few hours time. The joke gets even less funny when you happen not to be aboard and return to find your home is not where you left it. And less funny still when you are home alone and handicapped with a broken wrist.

Please try to remember that boaters are usually equipped with fire extinguishers, large hammers, axes, and all manner of tools that you wouldn’t want used on your person.

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